Myth and Peanut Butter

During a discussion about epic and myth, a student came up with a modern version of the American folk hero, Paul Bunyan: "Chuck Norris gargles peanut butter." 

Cool Girls

The following quote was seen on a t-shirt being worn by a 10th grade student in my class: "All the cool girls are lesbians." I would not have seen anything like this being worn when I was in high school. I imagine the suicide rates have gone down for teenagers because of the increase in acceptance that current high school students have, as opposed to twenty years ago.  Also, I'm sure there is a long way to go on the acceptance front too.

I Don't Give A Schist

Today one student said to another, "It's okay to say schist. It's like a metamorphic rock or something." I must give them points for creativity. 

Easy Listening

Today during English class one boy said to another, "I love 40s music. Don't you just love 40s music? No, I only listen to smooth jazz." True story. 

Favorite Food

Some students were discussing their favorite foods before class. One said their favorite was fried chicken. Another replied, "Have you ever had chicken intestines? They're friggin awesome!" Another reason I am a vegetarian. 

Walk Like An Egyptian

I asked my student who is of Egyptian descent what he thought about what was happening in Egypt right now. He quickly replied, "I think it's a ploy by the Muslim Brotherhood to try to take over. It's gonna be very, very bad." I hope his insights are not correct. 

One Love

I heard one student say to another, in a serious tone, "If Chuck Norris and Bob Marley got in a fight, Bob Marley would hot box him to death." I had no comment. 

Burning Down the House

One student smelled something cooking at school. She yelled out, "Fool, it stinks like when my house was burning!" 

B-I-N-G-

In Algebra I we were playing a game similar to B-I-N-G-O where the students had to figure out simple math problems to collect the numbers to fill in their game card. One student proudly shouted out B-I-N-G-O! I went to check the card and saw only four numbers going one way. He said, "Yeah, we can have a new game called B-I-N-G!, like B-I-N-G-O without the O!"

Lifeblood

Another teacher and myself were using ink stamps in an activity we were teaching in Algebra I. Each student had their own little stamp. We had the usual activities of students stamping their hands and even a few stamped their own faces with ink. I then heard a student say, "My stamp ran out of lifeblood." Another student responded with, "Yeah, my stamp ran out of vodka too." 

G'day Mozart

A few weeks ago I was explaining to some students that teachers sometimes apply for seminars and I was looking at one studying Mozart in Vienna, Austria. One interested student said, "Oh, have you already been to Australia before?" I could not hold back the laughter as I informed her that Austria is in Europe and Australia is not. 

Hillbilly Dress Code

The other day in Algebra I, I instructed a student to pull his pants up so I didn't have to see his boxers. A girl across the room shouted out to help him during his time of need. She yelled, "Teacher, you're just jealous because we don't dress like hillbillies or like we're from the 70's!" 

Unnecessary Grass

Today a student seemed to be struggling to come up with something to complain about. She settled on, "Why is there grass everywhere? It's so unnecessary!" 

I Smell Like Strawberries

Today at school a student said, "One time my friend threw a Slurpee at me." I said, "Wow, that sounds like a great friend (friend in air quotes)." She replied, "It was ok though, because it was super hot in the summer and I smelled like strawberries for the rest of the day." Let's face it. Who doesn't like to smell like strawberries?