I Just Love The Violence

In English today a student felt compelled to tell me; "I like older cartoons. They are more violent with hammers and bigger guns." I shudder to think. 

Southern Drawl

I commended a student today for getting out a sheet of paper to write notes on. She said, "It's not for notes, it's for drawling." I reminded her that there is no 'l' in 'drawling'. She said, "Yes it does, this is my jaw line (pointing to her own face), this paper is for drawling!" I said, "ok." 

Smart

One student who is fairly intelligent but does almost no work posed this question to another student who puts a lot of effort toward his schoolwork: "Does it feel good to be smart?" To which he replied, "It's kind of like you feel, but with more papers and organization." I was crying laughing while trying to hide my face. 

Do The Shuffle

One of my English students today saw another student dancing and said, "My mom can shuffle better than him!" Another student was impressed and replied with, "Your mom can shuffle?" To which the first student replied, "Yeah, in four inch heels. She may have been a little drunk though." 

Smells Like Victory

In Algebra I today a student was cleaning out his folder. It seemed to me that it had been a very long time since he had last done that. I said under my voice, "How long has it been since you last cleaned that out, four years?" He quickly replied, "Yeah, like the olympics." 

The 70's

One student asked me today, "Teacher, did you ever smoke weed?" I looked at him without saying anything. He continued, "Like in the 70's when everyone did it?" I said, "Yeah, I must have been born doing it, since I was born in 1974!" 

Ashen Skin

One particularly childish student was yelling at her friend today in Algebra I. She yelled across the room, "Shut up you ashen cookie." To which the other student replied, "Did you just call me Ashton Kutcher?" They say one hears what one wants to hear. 

Note To Self

It's probably not a good idea to wear an all purple outfit in high school. One of my students did that today. Her 'friends' called her "Barney, the purple dinosaur," and "Grape," respectively. 

Alien Spacecraft

I heard a Hispanic student tell this story about her little brother and her mom. The boy saw another boy wearing a sombrero and said, "Look mom, he looks like an alien with a spacecraft!" His mother laughingly said, "Yeah, sure, an illegal alien spacecraft!"